Earlier I had counted on asking my folks for help but that's gone forever. My mother got the crazy idea that one of my friends was spending all my money (when actually that friend was paying my way a lot of the time) so she decided she hated that friend. After all, spending my money? That's her job! So I, an adult person, was forbidden from blah blah blah because that's a thing.
Thing is that my friend and I have been planning a trip to Hawaii for years, this coming January. It's the place of my birth and my friend is again covering a lot of the costs. But since my mother doesn't like it, I'm not supposed to go! To the place of my birth. She even tried to tell me, "Oh, we'll go someplace that matters instead!"
THIS MATTERS TO ME.
So I just said I was gonna go, no matter what, and just walked away. Haven't heard from her since. And I probably never will, unless someone dies or something. This morning I had a dream that she barged into my house just to yell at me (which is something she would actually do), so today I propped a chair under my door so it can't be opened while I'm home.
Yeah, it made me think of the time that I was on a trip and my mother called me at 4AM or something because she let herself into my house without my permission, started throwing away food from my fridge, and saw a lemon pie from a neighbor and got mad, and had to call to ruin my trip.
Forget this! I've had enough of this. I've tried to help her out as much as I can. I did want her to be part of my life. But this just kind of reached the tipping point of crazy and I can't deal with this anymore. I know she's as stubborn as I am so she probably won't try to talk to me again ever. Fine by me!
So I'm on my own. My step-father understands but he has to stick by her so I probably can't rely on him for anything. But I've been alone before. I've been surrounded by friends yet alone before. I guess I need to figure out what I want to do next, where I want to go next...
In the meantime, I have a couple trips that have been a while in the planning. This weekend is one of those trips. January is the other. After that I can figure things out.