Devoting as much attention to it as I currently am is draining enough, somehow. Has my mental stamina atrophied this much? Or is it just that THIS INSTRUCTOR IS SO AMAZINGLY BORING?? The last time I did this training, it was just videos I had to watch, and I had to re-watch them so many times because I seriously fell asleep through all of them. This time it's live, so I have to try a bit harder... And it's based in Pacific time, so it's two hours off for me. I have to readjust my schedule a bit for this.
When I left to grab something for lunch, I saw someone had run over one of the rabbits in the neighborhood. The rabbits that I so often spot hanging around my yard... one of them was dead. My mother tried to make me feel better, saying it probably wasn't one of "my" rabbits... It probably just heard my yard was a rabbit sanctuary and came from somewhere else. Not sure that exactly makes me feel any better, but thanks anyway...
It was during a call about my dead aunt. I sent my folks some websites that could deliver flowers to Thailand, and my mother picked something out. I said I could pay for the flowers this week, since it'll be my payday. It feels kinda bad I couldn't do more, like actually offer to fly us out there if she really wanted to go.
But I told myself she probably doesn't really want to go. She used work as an excuse, but she could probably take the time off if she really wanted to. And my step-father has good credit, so we could've found the money SOMEWHERE if it really came down to it, I think. My mother comes from a big family, and at that size rivalries and alliances are formed. And I guess some players are more neutral? My mother never seems thrilled to go back to Thailand for any reason, anyway... I'm sure if it were my grandmother or my uncle in Hawaii, we'd be going for that.
Tonight was the Troy Davis execution. I'd been hearing about it lately, and it was in the back of my mind today while I was sitting through training. It was scheduled for 7PM Eastern, which ended up being around the time training ended for the day, and I just always had my eye on the clock.
I don't really know enough about the case to be able to figure whether he was guilty or not. But just the fact that there was as much doubt as there was about his guilt... And the fact that they kept pushing forward with this execution seemingly to SPITE these doubts... As if someone were actually going LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU PULLING THE SWITCH NOW LA LA LA. It's also not a huge leap to be reminded of the recent Republican "debates" where audiences cheered the prospect of people dying.
It's the kind of thing that makes me feel sick to my stomach, and this pit simply won't leave. Blackstone said it was better to have 10 guilty go free than 1 innocent to suffer. Ben Franklin raised it to 100. Personally, I'd make it 1000. Guilty people get away all the time... but that can be rectified. Killing an innocent person is something that can never be undone. I always, always wonder... what if I were that one innocent? What would happen then?
Georgia answered that for me tonight.
Watching TV was just making me feel terrible. Troy Davis was everywhere. I tried reading some comics... I was able to order a few back issues I missed over the summer, and I was catching up. I'm really, REALLY liking the new Venom. He's almost as tragic a character as Spider-Man himself... Just needed something to help flush out my head tonight.
Got me thinking about Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3, and did some Twitter searching, hoping for news. Saw a guy saying something I thought was incredibly stupid, and I ended up clicking through to his profile to see WHAT the hell he was on and how he could say something so idiotic.
But then saw that his most recent tweets were about Troy Davis, echoing my own thoughts. It all came back to this. The petty anger subsided and I recognized this stranger was a pretty decent guy. Just had horrible, stupid taste when it came to video games. But still, a decent guy.