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Jan. 1st, 2010

So it's a new year! There were some incredible things about 2009, like my trips to Seattle and getting to meet new people. Even though I've done my share of traveling before, this felt bigger for some reason! Maybe it was just exploring a corner of the country I hadn't been to before, or seeing a new place for the first time in a while, or just the combination of friends, food, and fun. And I was able to host a sizable gathering for Thanksgiving, my first such event since moving into this place, which I've always wanted to do!

But 2009 was also a year of tragedy... Is that putting it too strongly? But I think for myself and a number of my friends, we had to go through a number of bad events this year. It really felt like a year of loss.

As for the year ahead, I'm not sure exactly what will happen. As I've mentioned before, my folks are still hoping to sell their place and find a new one, and I was planning to do the same. The problem has just been that it hasn't been a great climate for selling, and we didn't have any pressing need to do so, so we've just been biding our time.

My mother has renewed hope for this year, however, and my folks' place will be back on the market in a matter of days. So, if things go well, we will be up and moving again sometime this year. I've wanted to plan more gatherings with friends like my trips this past year, but at the moment things feel too indefinite to make any plans. We may get lucky and find buyers, or we may still find things too unsatisfactory and remain here for another year!

So, basically... If I end up moving, I may be too short on time and money to make things happen. But if things don't work out, I may be more free... It feels like a coin toss. Things look bad yet improving. My mother is desperate to move, so for her sake I hope things pan out sooner rather than later... I would like to move as well, but I feel like I can weather things out.

It felt bad backing out of old traditions like Otakon last year, even if it was in lieu of a new adventure like Seattle. It feels just as bad to be plain uncertain about my stance on any such things this coming year! But we'll see how things go.

One tradition with old friends has been doing our own thing for Christmas, then doing a Christmas gift exchange on New Year's Eve. Last night was a lot of fun, and I got to attend remotely via PS3 video chat (with that camera thing from Eye of Judgement). The frustrating part was my Internet service provider being a tremendous pain. I had to reboot my modem a number of times last night and again when I woke up this morning.

I've never been thrilled with my service, but my only reason for not switching was the anticipation of possibly moving. A lot of things feel "in limbo" because of this "will we, won't we" position we're in. So I guess if for nothing else, just that finality of knowing, "Yes, we are finally moving" would be great.

But anyway, yes! I got way too many new movies and games to take up my time with! So many fun things!! Just this morning I finally got to watch No Country For Old Men.

One other nagging issue... I still haven't gotten my reimbursement check from work!! I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Not about the check itself, since I know I will get it eventually, and with my paycheck now in hand I'm no longer hurting. But what am I going to do in the future? Am I going to have to be a bitch about this from now on?

"Hey, we need to fly you out somewhere next week."
"I can't because you're going to take another 3 months with my reimbursement check."

That doesn't feel like the right thing to do but I'm not sure what I CAN do! For its flaws, my company is pretty good, so I don't want to have to foul things. At the same time, it hurts me in several ways when they're unprofessional like this.

I've had this itchy sensation in the back of my head for a while now that maybe I need to start looking for a new job. Again, it's not at the point, "Things are so unbearable! I have to get out NOW!" But it also feels like things are building up to a point I'm not going to like. I hate it because I actually like some of the work I do, I like my fellow programmers at the office, and even with his faults, I like my boss too. And of course the convenience of working remotely is the best I've ever come across!

But... it feels like opening a carton of eggs where half of them are cracked.

However, this feels like another thing that needs to wait until I know where I'm going to be a year from now. And this doesn't feel like the climate to be job-hunting either, though I haven't looked so I could be wrong. I hate feeling so uncertain about this!

So... 2009, it feels good to have you in my rear view mirror. 2010, I have hope for you!


Kitty McRib

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